


Say 'Cheese'

by TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Paranormal Activity, Angst, BAMF Keith (Voltron), BAMF Lance (Voltron), But also comfort! Yay!, Established Relationship, Everyone Is A Drama Queen, Explicit Language, Graphic Description of Corpses, Gratuitous use of cameras, I hope it's creepy, I like to think it's a bit funny, I love paranormal activity, I would be losing my shit too, It's so clever, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith is a badass, Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Paranormal, Time Travel, Understandable, Violence, like the movies, seriously, seriously though, so much sass, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan/pseuds/TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan
Summary: “Apparently, these two girls, Acxa and Ezor, weird names, I know, lived here back in the eighties and went missing for a good ten, fifteen years before randomly showing up in Montana and settling down as though nothing had happened.”“Which is really weird, yeah, but not really spooky,” Keith said, rifling through the pages.“The parents were found dead in the garage two days after the family was reported as missing.”“Slightly more spooky.”“The grandma went missing two days after that.”“Very spooky.”“Along with their crazy, pedophilic, drug lord uncle who got busted out of a high-security prison the day the parents died, according to the carbon dating.”“Yeah, I got it, thanks, fuckface.”---Keith has been haunted all his life by an entity that wants him dead. It all comes to a head when he and his boyfriend recruit a team to help kick that fucknugget in the ass once and for all.





	1. A Camcorder

“Babe, smile for the camera.”

“Lance, get that fucking thing out of my face, you dipshit,” Keith grumbled, scowling at the power drill in confusion. “Also, where the fuck did you get this? It must be broken or something because it’s fucking crap.”

“That is going to take forever to censor if this actually works and we sell it for millions of dollars,” Lance replied, readjusting the high-quality camcorder on his shoulder. “C’mon, you gotta be at least a little bit excited.”

“I just don’t want to fucking die,” Keith muttered. “Alright, I give. You can use the drill.”

Lance cheered, handing the camera over to Keith, who shouldered it with ease and panned it around the room as Lance switched the drill on.

“How the fuck did you do that?”

“It’s a gift, babe,” Lance winked at the camera before climbing on top of the teetering tower of furniture piled in one corner of the room. “Do we not own a ladder or something?”

“Yeah, but it’s in the garage.”

Lance shuddered at the thought of the garage. It was a cluttered space, full of random junk they’d collected. There was a stupid amount of it too, considering they were only twenty-four and had been living together for only two years.

“When’s Shiro, Matt, and Allura getting here?” Lance asked, a drill bit between his teeth as he positioned the small camera in the corner of the living room.

“Like, four hours or something?” Keith replied, going back to his panoramic filming.

They had a big house, with an open plan sunken living area that led into a nice, large kitchen. A wide fireplace sat in the centre of the room and they had a frankly ridiculous stairway up to a walkway all around the edge of the room from which doors led into bedrooms and bathrooms.

It was a stroke of luck that they were living there, really. Lance’s (very rich) grandmother passed away and thanks to him being the least passive-aggressive out of his entire extended family, she liked him the best so he got the whole lot. The mortgage was paid, the only things they needed to worry about were the bills and Keith had finally got a job at the university, so they were pretty much set.

You know. If they weren’t being haunted.

The sound of the drill filled the house and Keith focussed the camera back on Lance, who was definitely more proficient at DIY than Keith.

“Can you believe we live here?” Lance called over the sound of the drill, shooting an incredulous look back at Keith. “It’s kind of a bit freaky, honestly, what with it being my dead abuela’s house…”

“Yeah, plus we’re being haunted by a fucking demon,” Keith deadpanned, not that that was visible to the camera.

“Hey, listen,” Lance ignored Keith’s comment and continued talking. “I was doing some research, right...it’s on the couch over there, look-”

The camera jerked over to the sofa, on which was a pile of printed paper.

“Apparently, these two girls, Acxa and Ezor, weird names, I know, lived here back in the eighties and went missing for a good ten, fifteen years before randomly showing up in _Montana_ and settling down as though nothing had happened.”

“Which is really weird, yeah, but not really spooky,” Keith said, rifling through the pages.

“The parents were found dead in the garage two days after the family was reported as missing.”

“Slightly more spooky.”

“The grandma went missing two days after that.”

“Very spooky.”

“Along with their crazy, pedophilic, drug lord uncle who got busted out of a high-security prison the day the parents died, according to the carbon dating.”

“Yeah, I got it, thanks, fuckface.”

Lance shrugged and almost fell off of the furniture tower.

“You asked, dude,” he grinned, finishing off the camera and jumping down, barely catching the armchair as it threatened to take his head off. Keith didn’t react, still looking through the papers. Lance made his way over to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“C’mon, babe,” he murmured, pressing a kiss into Keith’s shoulder. “We’ve still got three cameras to go and Shiro’ll be here soon and give us a lecture on proper DIY safety procedures. Not sure he’d approve of our ingenious ladder substitute.”

Keith chuckled and turned the camera around to focus on Lance’s tanned face. Lance shot a flirty wink at the lens and bit his lip seductively.

“Besides, the quicker we finish, the quicker we can christen our new bed.”

“That sounds like a good plan, doesn’t it sound like a good plan, I like plans, let’s do that plan.”

“Alright there, Keithy?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Hey, babe, where did you put the fruit loops?”

Keith stuck his head around the kitchen door frame and squinted at the camera, hair tangled and mussed on his head. Lance grinned and spun the camera to face him.

“He just had a _great_ time.”

“Shut up. Where are my glasses?”

“I dunno babe, you put them by the front door last I saw.”

“I know I was wearing them right before you dragged me into our room, but they’re not there anymore.”

The camera jiggled as Lance shrugged at Keith, who glared at him.

“You must have taken them off because I know I didn’t,” Lance said, perfectly reasonably in his opinion.

“I did _not_ take them off, I had them on when we went to fuck, okay?”

Lance, who had just taken a swig of orange juice, spat it over the counter in surprise, some shooting into his nostrils.

“Babe, you can’t just say that,” he choked, clutching the edge of the counter for support and hanging his head. Keith pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, muttering under his breath. Lance took a deep breath and looked up at his boyfriend.

“Look, Keithy, the whole reason we’ve got the cameras is because there’s something freaky happening to you, right? This is probably just the demon messing with you, again.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. So, we just gotta search the whole house now, right?”

Lance nodded and picked up the camera again.

“Lead on, Columbus.”

Keith rolled his eyes and led the way up the stairs. Lance followed behind camera distinctly not focussing on Keith’s head.

“Lovely view from back here, I must say,” he purred, grinning when Keith looked back and flushed bright red.

“Lance! Stop fucking around!” he yelled, grabbing the camera from Lance’s hands. “I’m gonna take this and you are gonna do what I say, you got me? Who took demonology classes for four years?”

“You did,” Lance replied, not really listening as his eyes followed the sway of Keith’s hips. “Still don’t understand why you did that, by the way…”

“Because my fourth foster family got impaled by the garden tools and the fifth family tripped and fell in the wood chipper and the sixth, somehow, managed to all end up hanging from the chandelier in the thirty-foot entrance foyer, okay?”

Lance went silent at that, the sobering reminder that this was real sending a chilling feeling down his spine.

“Hey,” he said quietly, catching up to walk beside Keith. “You’re gonna be fine, okay? We’ll get through this, you’ve got Allura, who knows exactly what you’re going through and Shiro and Matt always know something that’ll help, okay?”

Keith breathed out, long and shuddery before nodding his head jerkily and opening the first door. They made their way slowly around the house before they reached the last door, the furthest one from the staircase. Lance felt an icy breeze across his neck and forearms, hairs standing on end and skin erupting in goose-bumps immediately.

He cracked open the door carefully and there, in the middle of the empty spare room were Keith’s glasses.

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“So we know that it can move objects around the house,” Keith was talking to the camera, which was positioned on top of a tripod in the office. “And we’re pretty confident it has something to do with this creepy ass family, the, uh, the Daibazaals?”

He sighed and tugged at his ponytail.

“The first time they show up is during the Civil War...they were very pro-slavery, all of their sons were Confederate soldiers, though very, very morally dubious even then. It says here, that ‘there were several accounts of Daibazaals attacking fellow soldiers and killing them in the event of their uselessness’...definitely took Darwin’s ‘survival of the fittest’ a little too literally…”

“Uh, they kinda disappear for a bit after the war, only record this hag, Honerva, who had a kid who went missing a year after he was born. Then Honerva went missing and the line is dead up until nineteen fourteen, when this guy, Lawrence, shows up claiming to be Honerva’s son. He committed a bunch of war crimes, helped Hitler blah blah blah and then, guess fucking what, goes _missing again_ , like seriously what the fuck-”

“Keith! Shiro’s here!”

The camera swung up and almost hit the wall, earning a couple of choice swear words from Keith, who walked to the foyer where Shiro was greeting Lance.

“Hey, little bro,” Shiro said, cheeks a bit pink when he noticed the camera. “What...is with the camera?”

“Joint idea,” he said, gesturing to the corners of the house. “We figured we’d record the house, see what it wants or does. There aren’t any in the spare rooms or bathrooms though, don’t worry.”

Shiro was a big man, intimidating to see in the streets but a literal teddy bear in the sheets. Keith found himself drawn into a smothering hug, the camera smooshed into Shiro’s shoulder uncomfortably.

“It’s good to see you, Keith.”

“Yeah, I...I’m glad you’re here,” Keith mumbled, pressing his cheek into Shiro’s chest.

“Keith!”

Allura Meleager (1) was a tall woman with sea-foam white hair. Keith wasn’t sure if it was natural or dyed and wasn’t brave enough to ask. The only thing he cared about was that she knew what he was dealing with, since she was living through the same thing.

“Allura,” he grinned, dumping the camera on the table and wrapping his arms around her. “It is so good to see you!”

“It is good to see you too, Keith,” she laughed, patting his cheek and looking into his eyes carefully. “You are alright, yes?”

“Of course,” Keith said, shrugging slightly. “Well, as well as can be, you know.”

She looked at the camera with twinkling eyes.

“I do like the camera idea,” she said. Keith rolled his eyes and cast a fond look at his boyfriend who was joking around with Matt Holt. “It’s almost ingenious.”

“It was Lance’s idea, really,” he said. “I thought it was pretty good too, so I just tell people it was a joint thing.”

“Are Pidge and Hunk going to join us?”

Keith shook his head in exasperation.

“I have no fucking clue, those three are so shit at organising anything,” he grumbled. “They call themselves ‘the meme team’.”

“Oh, I know,” Allura groaned, rubbing her brow in mock annoyance. “Matt has been whining about being left out of their group chat for such a long time now.”

Keith laughed and saluted at Matt, who finally made his way over to them, Lance in tow.

“Hey, man, what’s up?”

“Not much, glasses ended up in the abandoned room at the other end of the hall, but otherwise fine,” Keith said, only half sarcastically.

“Tell you what would be creepy,” Lance chuckled, shaking his head at whatever thought was in his mind. “If that room was the kids’ room, am I right?”

They all froze and looked at each other.

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“So get this, that room was Acxa and Ezor’s room,” Lance was saying, Shiro acting as cameraman for the time being. “And they were directly related to that creepy Lawrence dude, by like, some cousin or something.”

“Wait, so Lawrence was Honerva’s son?” Allura asked, bending over a sheet of notes, covered with Lance’s messy handwriting.

“Yeah, so he claims,” Lance said, hands coming to fall on Keith’s shoulders, who was clicking through a website. “There’s not much to back it up, except for the obvious facial similarity…”

“You can tell he wants to be a forensic scientist,” Matt whispered. Shiro snickered, camera panning slowly over the copious notes and research. “He must be spending a fortune on printer ink and paper.”

Lawrence Daibazaal was a tall, pale man with a deadly sharp chin and white-blond hair slicked over his pale face. Ice blue eyes stared out at them from slightly yellowish sclera. Next to it was a portrait of a thin woman. She was very bony and had scrawny wrists. She wore a full-length, corseted gown made of a heavy velvet. The picture wasn’t overly detailed, but the face shape of her and Lawrence was remarkably similar, as were the eyes and hair.

“How do Acxa and Ezor come into it, then?”

“Well, I was getting to that when you arrived,” Keith replied, swiveling around to face the camera. “See, Lawrence went missing in nineteen forty-eight, never to be seen again. However, the Daibazaal line starts up again in Chicago in the late nineteen fifties, from this guy, Hector. Only, there is no record of any Hector Daibazaal at all before then! Anyway, he had some kids, who had these kids, Acxa and Ezor, who went missing when they were nine and eleven.”

The group stared at the sparse family tree Keith had scribbled onto a sheet of scrap paper.

“Hey…” Matt said. Shiro turned to see Matt hunched over a box in one corner, looking at an odd looking diary in the one hand.

“What’s that?”

“Found it in this weird shoebox up on your shelf,” he replied, flipping the book open. “Says ‘Narti Daibazaal’ on the front, which is weird because there shouldn’t be a fucking Narti!”

“Narti…?” Allura questioned, eyebrows furrowed. “But she was an imaginary friend of mine, back when I was eight. Narti Daibazaal. She couldn’t speak and she had no face-”

“You were a messed up child, Allura,” Lance mused, rifling through the rest of the box.

“Thank you, Lance,” she said, dryly. “She carried around a cat and a diary.”

“‘Eleventh of November, 1992: found a cat today. I shall call it Kova’.”

“And she called the cat Kova.”

“This is really fucking creepy,” Lance said, staring at Allura and Matt who had just spoken simultaneously. “Like, really creepy.”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Lance, is Pidge gonna come?”

“She said she’s on her way from Austria right now.”

“Why the fuck was she in Austria?”

“Apparently the security system over there is ‘a piece of alien crap eaten by a bulldog, vomited up and then fucked by a perverted cannibal’.”

“Right.”

“She and Hunk will be here in the morning, ‘kay?”

Keith smiled and snuggled up to Lance’s chest. He took a deep breath in and tightened his grip on the front of Lance’s shirt.

“Just want everyone to be here,” he mumbled. “I really don’t want to die.”

“You’re not going to die,” Lance reassured, stroking Keith’s hair gently. “I won’t let you die and I sure as hell won’t let some punk-ass demon-child fucknugget drag you away to creepsville.”

“Thanks, man,” Keith snorted.

“You’re welcome.”

“You probably just made it angry, you know that?”

 

_-NIGHT 1-_

 

**12:47:09**

Silent-

Sleepy movements, rustling of sheets in the dark, breathing heavy-

Pitter patter, pitter patter; cat, moving swift, fast, crossing the driveway, dark eyes avoiding contact-

Chirp, chirp, chirp-

Cicadas never sleep-

 

**02:21:35**

Not alone-

Something there, something watching-

A noise, a creak, something forcing a door open, the door to the office moving slowly across the floor, a shadow-

Flickering across the floor, silent-

Silent but still there, eyes wide with terror, clutching tight to warm arm, arm slung around middle, not alone-

Window closed but breeze, cold breeze across cheek, moving away-

Sound of papers rustling in wind, but no windows open, how?

 

**05:03:18**

Need to sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, SIT UP-

Eyes wide, staring, a wall straight ahead, something warm beside-

Hair falling over face, don’t move, don’t move, don’t move-

Counting-

Six hundred, five hundred ninety-nine, five hundred ninety-eight, five hundred ninety-seven, five hundred ninety-six, five hundred ninety-five-

 

_-cut screen-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love Paranormal Activity.
> 
> I had a thriller binge last week.
> 
> Side note: any of you seen A Quiet Place yet? Just putting it out there; the mum kicked ass and the sister was irritating as all hell.
> 
> Side side note: mixed feelings about Truth or Dare because I want to see it but the smiles are so fucking creepy it's not even funny.
> 
> 1) Fun Fact  
> 'Meleager' refers to a Greek hero whose mother was called 'Althainein' which means 'to heal'. This can be shortened to Althaea or Althaia which are origins of the name 'Althea' which is one letter off of 'Altea' and there we go! That's where I got Allura's surname from ;)
> 
> Alright my dudes, next chapter will be up tomorrow or something  
> ~Marshy


	2. The Meme Team

“Hey, Keithy? D’you remember this at all?”

Lance turned the camera from the computer screen to Keith’s pale face.

“No. I don’t remember that ever happening. Why is it making me just stare at the wall for so long? What the fuck? Why...why does it want me, what do I have to do with any of it?”

Lance put the camera down on top of a pile of notebooks and pulled Keith into his arms.

“I don’t know why it wants you, but we will figure this out, okay? For now, we just gotta-”

“What’s up, bitches?” came a crowing voice from the foyer. “Guess who’s back?”

Keith brightened immediately, disentangling himself from Lance and racing into the main living area. Lance scowled and tapped his foot against the floor for a solid five seconds before caving and going into the other room to greet his friends.

“Lance! What’s up buddy?” Hunk shouted from the foyer. “And what is with the camera?”

“Just a little experiment we got going on,” Lance said, grinning at Hunk and pulling him into a hug. “How’ve you been? How’s Shay?”

“Good, good, missing you obviously, but good.”

“As soon as this whole shitshow is over, I’ll come and stay, promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that!”

“Ay, ay, ay, what’s this? The meme team making plans without me?” Lance didn’t react to the voice behind him and made a show of looking around at eye level, squinting into the corners.

“Hey, Hunk, can you hear something? I could’ve sworn-”

“Me too, I’m sure someone said something…”

“I mean, it might not have been someone, could’ve been a very irritating little pest, you know?”

“Yeah, annoyingly high-pitched, I hear you-”

The boys collapsed after two well-placed kicks to the backs of their knees. Instantly they started cowering before the small girl before them, hands raised in a surrender, shoulders hunched.

“Mercy!” Lance was yelling while Hunk just screamed.

“You two are such assholes,” she groaned, folding her arms. Lance swooped her into a bone-crushing hug, arms long enough to wrap around her twice.

“Pidgeon! Po-key-mon to my heart, how the bloody hell are you!”

“Should I be jealous?” Keith mumbled to Matt, who was pouting at the scene. Matt only scoffed and pouted harder.

“The boys are back, the boys are back!”

“The boys are back, gonna do it again, gonna wake up the neighbourhood!”

“The boys are back, the boys are back!”

“Climbing up the walls anytime we want-”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Why did you cut out our song?”

“I didn’t cut it out, the camera just stopped recording.”

Lance pushed the camera right into Keith’s face until the lens was squashed against Keith’s nose.

“Oh, and I wonder what could have caused that!”

“Probably that pesky demon.”

 

_-NIGHT 2-_

 

**01:37:57**

A creak-

Someone moving up, up, up, up, up-

Trying to be quiet, but you can hear, hear footsteps in the dark soft and quiet-

“Lance,” hissing voice from your throat, hand tight around hilt of knife, cool against skin-

“Lance, wake up.”

Mumbles next to you, arm tightens, duvet shifts, you are not alone, he is next to you, safe, you are safe-

“Hm…? What is is, babe?”

“Do you hear that?”

Creaks, more creaks-

Moving up, up, up, towards master bedroom, towards _you_ -

Warm hands on shoulders, twitching muscles stop, adrenaline kicking but stay still, stay very still-

“Shh.”

Cool breeze, icy breeze across thin sheets, hairs on end, goose-flesh on skin, heavy breath but not visible-

Powerful, strong, howling wind, ice cold, blows sheets off bed, tangling mid-air, forms noose for one second before dropping, like a corpse-

Knife waving, hand on shoulder tight, never let go, don’t leave you alone, please-

“I don’t like this, I really don’t like this.”

“Babe, just calm down. Deep breaths, it’s probably gone now.”

“Why does it want _me_?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“I made this!”

“What is it?” Shiro asked boredly, eyes trailing over the pages of the book he was reading. It had very small print and Keith was considering lending him his glasses. Then again, he was holding a large camera in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other so he couldn’t. Plus, he couldn’t be bothered.

“It’s a modified camera that can detect supernatural activity!” Pidge exclaimed, practically vibrating on the spot.

“And when she says that she made it, I made it,” Hunk added, sticking his head into frame and smiling sunnily at the camera.

“Fine, but I came up with it.”

“I think I had the idea first, actually.”

“You know what, Hunk? You can suck my five-foot long penis, that’s what you can do.”

“I’m really a one-girl kinda guy, actually,” Hunk said, smile still in place even as Pidge gradually got more irritated.

“Fine, Hunk came up with the plan and put it together. I designed it and helped hold wires in place, does that satisfy your royal highness?”

“Well, if you wanna be technical-”

“Oh look at that! Shay’s calling me! You know, I might just tell her about that time you ate a load of Lance’s chili empanadas and then had a gastrointestinal disaster in the breakroom because you were freaking out about her seeing you vomit everywhere! What a fun story, right?”

“Yes, that is exactly true, she did indeed design it and hold wires in place.”

Pidge smiled victoriously and waved the modified camera at the camera.

“I’m thinking we can modify all the cameras in the house, see what we can dig up.”

“Sure thing,” Keith said, handing the camera off to Shiro who grunted in surprise and shot Keith a glare when he wasn’t looking.

“Lance!”

“What, babe?” Lance yelled from the kitchen.

“Pidge modified the cameras so they can see supernatural shit, shall we do the rest?”

“Yeah, go for it!”

“Let’s do it,” Keith said, turning back to the others who were staring with hands over their ears.

“You...are really loud. Both of you. Wow.”

“It’s a big house!” Keith protested.

“You’ve only been living in it for a month! Before that you the crappy little apartment on East Fifth Street, remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” Keith grumbled. “I remember fucking Rolo setting the fire alarm off at ass o’clock in the morning because of his stupid ventilation system that supposedly ‘distributed weed evenly around the room’. I remember Rax punching me in the face for touching his letterbox and accidentally knocking the ‘x’ off of his name so it read ‘Omo Ra- Shi’, like that was my fucking fault his name spelt out piss kink if you take out the ‘x’!”

“Wow. PTSD.”

“Shut the fuck up, Pidge,” Keith pouted. “Fix the damn cameras.”

“Yes sir.”

Pidge climbed the furniture tower a lot more gracefully than either Lance or Keith had managed, which was not surprising. Shiro didn’t help by hovering around the base of the tower with a mini trampoline, in case of emergencies. Keith took great pleasure in pushing Shiro onto it and was impressed with the amount of airtime he got.

He joined Lance in the kitchen and put the camera down on the island counter.

“I feel like I should be more worried, you know?” he said, resting his chin in his hands. “I mean, Coran and Allura have both said it’s a demon, this Daibazaal business is next-level creepy but we’re just chilling, making empanadas and drinking booze, man...is this right?”

“Well, normally I’d agree with you,” Lance said, dropping empanadas into a pan of oil. “But I have to admit that I have no fucking idea what to do about this demon problem except piss it off. Which would not go down well. So yeah, until we have a game plan, we just chill out with empanadas and this disgusting nunvil stuff that Coran bought from his home planet.”

“Wherever the fuck that is,” Keith muttered, a grin breaking across his face.

“Ay, there’s my Keithy,” Lance said, kissing Keith on the nose and shoving a still hot empanada in his mouth. “You should smile more often.”

“This is why I don’t smile,” Keith said, spitting the scalding food into the sink and quenching his mouth with cold water. “You are the worst.”

“I’m, I’m sorry, what was that? Did you say that I am the wor-ld’s best boyfriend ever? I think you did! Awh, Keithy, I didn’t know you felt like that! I love you too, snookums!”

“I hate you so much.”

“Love you too, babe.”

 

_-NIGHT 7-_

 

**04:13:28**

Footsteps. Slow and steady along the walkway, closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer-

Stop.

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. The chandelier. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back-

Stop.

Closer, closer, closer, closer, closer-

Stop.

Breathing. In, out, in, out, in, out-

Stop.

Scraping noise, fingernails down a chalkboard, metal against metal, a whistle, high pitched, eardrums bursting, screaming high, high, high, high, high screaming for help.

Stop.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


BANG!

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Last night was bad,” Lance said to the others, watching Keith doze on the sofa. “We woke up about quarter past four but before the door banged open.”

“What happened?” Allura asked, camera trained on Lance’s tired face.

“There were footsteps at first,” he said, finger tracing the rim of his coffee mug. “Then, uh, the chandelier? Started swinging or some shit, I don’t know, it was squeaking like mad though. More footsteps and then it just stood outside our door for what felt like fucking forever, just breathing...then there were sounds like, like, fingernails on a chalkboard and stuff like that, the stuff that just sends shivers down your spine, you know?”

“And then the door just blew in off the hinges, almost smashed the window.”

They sat in silence for a while, Allura moving the camera to rest on Pidge who was tinkering with the cameras.

“How long until that’s done, Pidge?” Shiro asked, face set in a serious expression.

“An hour, give or take,” she replied tersely. “The supernatural isn’t an exact science just yet, so excuse me for tinkering.”

“C’mon guys, let’s not fight,” Hunk interjected, laying a hand on Pidge’s shoulder and smiling sympathetically at Shiro. “I know it’s tough right now, but we can get through this! We got our tech experts, we got our ghostbuster, we got the research and the cameramen, all we need now is-”

“Coran.”

“Yeah, where is that guy anyway?”

Allura sighed and massaged her temple wearily. She fixed them all with a piercing light blue gaze before staring at the counter.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s not unlike him to disappear for a few days at a time, he doesn’t like telling people where he is, but this time...this time he didn’t even take his emergency phone, which _is_ unlike him.”

“Great. Coran’s MIA, we know virtually nothing about the demon and Keith’s sleep schedule is so FUBAR it’s probably more productive to turn him nocturnal!” Matt shouted, swiping a hand over the counter angrily and knocking his mug to the ground where it shattered.

“This thing isn’t even after you, Matt,” Lance retorted, moving to sweep the china up.

“Yeah, we’ll all just be the collateral damage when this thing finally decides to stop playing with us and just eat us all for a light snack before the main event.”

“You need to stop, now,” Lance growled, pointing a tea-towel at Matt.

“Or what.”

“I’m serious, Matt-”

“ _Or. What!”_

Lance’s fist shot forward in a powerful punch that caught Matt in the cheekbone. He went down heavily to the ground and Lance followed after, his elbow moving into frame every once in a while.

“Get the fuck off me, man!”

“You need to back off, you motherfu-”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“I nicked the camera,” Matt said mulishly, staring at the lens as though hoping it would provide answers.

He sat in silence for a moment.

“I stand by what I said earlier, but I am sorry for how I said it. The rate things are going...I’m just not sure that all of us will make it out alive.”

He rifled around offscreen for a moment before pulling a manila file into view.

“Look at this shit,” he said, pulling out a picture and showing it to the lens.

It was poor quality, low lighting and clearly taken with a very old camera, but the subject matter was still clear. In the bottom left corner was the twisted and mangled body of a middle-aged man, his right arm all but ripped off at the shoulder and his spine visible through the gaping hole in his neck. Towards the centre of the photo was a woman, although she was almost unrecognisable. Practically every bone in her body had been broken, her face smashed in and her mouth bloody and ripped open through the cheeks.

“That, those fucking corpses, they are Acxa and Ezor’s parents. That is what this fucker is gonna do to us if we make it angry,” Matt was saying, almost in hysterics.

He practically ripped open another file, this time pulling out a diagram covered in weird runes. He waved it at the camera almost too fast for it to focus.

“This is some sort of summoning ritual for a demon called Zarkon,” he explained. “Apparently he was put into some sort of _bullshit_ coma by a bunch of kids in the seventeen hundreds calling themselves the Lions, which I would normally dismiss as some sort of magic mushrooms trip but, _but_ , the dates coincide with a load of freaky natural disasters and this one volcano in northern Canada erupting black goo instead of lava!”

“Whatever the fuck this thing is, it is bigger than this fucking Lawrence guy and it’s not just to do with Acxa and Ezor either. I mean, Narti? Allura’s imaginary friend, Narti? _Having a fucking diary_ ? Yeah, _totally_ normal.”

He sat in silence for another minute.

“I’m gonna go apologise to Lance,” he said finally, rubbing a thumb over the nasty bruise on his cheekbone and nose. “And also to get some frozen peas for this beautiful face.”

 

_-cut screen-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: my squad calls itself the meme team. We're very proud.
> 
> Can you believe I posted twice on the same evening? Me neither.
> 
> I was originally gonna do this as a giant 15k one-shot and then was like??? why???   
> ...probably woulda been easier though. Oh well lmao.


	3. Coran, the Demon Slayer

  _-NIGHT 15-_

 

**01:25:23**

An ear-splitting shriek broke the silence-

“ _Lance! Help me!”_

A cold hand was wrapped around his ankle and he flew out of bed backwards, slamming into the wall behind him. He saw Lance begin to move towards him but the entity didn’t like that, not at all-

Keith felt a few hot tears spill from his eyes as he scrabbled for purchase on the carpeted floors which swiftly changed to wood as he was dragged across the floor-

He managed to dig his fingernails into a crack in the wood, muscles straining as he felt the thing yank on his leg, hard, and pain danced up his fingers and something was starting to rip-

With a sob, he was dragged forwards, fingernails left in the wood and blood trailing from his stinging fingertips-

“LANCE!”

Lance was sprinting for him, he could hear him. All he had to do was hold on-

The creature pushed him over the edge of the banister of the walkway and he was falling, he was going to break his neck and die but no-

Something had grabbed his hair and was dangling him in the middle of the room, twenty feet above the ground and it hurt, god it hurt so much-

And then it dropped him and he was plummeting downwards, the cold stone floor never looking less welcoming than it did at that moment and he closed his eyes for impact, an image of his own broken and bloody body lying on the floor-

Warm arms.

Warm arms wrapped around him, and he wasn’t dead, he was alive and his face was wet with tears and blood from being dragged across the floor and he was alive and Lance was there, Lance was hugging him close and not letting him go and he was safe (for now at least)

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Holy shit,” Shiro swore, staring at the footage.

“I am so glad you insisted on the cameras, Lance,” Matt said, shifting the focus to the tanned man at the computer. “I just caught dad swearing.”

Lance grinned, but it was strained. Keith was obsessively going over Matt’s notes that he had shared earlier that morning, though not as early as Lance and Keith had been up, apparently.

Although, that wasn’t really what Shiro was swearing at.

No.

The tech modifications had worked.

“Are you seeing this?” Pidge said, adjusting her glasses. “This is groundbreaking, this is phenomenal-”

“Glad that my imminent death is interesting and not worrying,” Keith ground out, glaring at Pidge. “Because guess what, that thing dangled me _twenty feet in the fucking air and fucking dropped me!”_

“C’mon, Keith,” Lance said, getting to his feet. “Shall we go out for a bit?”

Keith looked at him blankly, before sighing and following Lance from the room. Leaving the others to their own devices, Matt followed along behind, ducking behind the fireplace and sticking the lens around the corner.

“I’m just worried, Lance,” Keith was saying, pulling his shoes on. “I mean, what if Matt was right? We should never have asked them to come.”

“I…” Lance started before stopping and drawing Keith into his arms. “I understand what you’re saying and maybe you’re right...it didn’t end well for that other family at all, so the thought of it happening to ours-” he made a face. “But...but they’re here to support you and comfort you. You don’t have to be strong every minute of every day, 24/7. Even Gryffindors take a break, boy scout.”

“I...I guess you’re right,” Keith didn’t sound certain. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Lance huffed out a half-amused, half-cynical laugh.

“Lucky for you, bro, I think you’re the only one getting hurt.”

“Don’t call me bro.”

“Okay, boo.”

Their lips met in a kiss before Lance was tugging Keith out of the door and Matt turned the camera to himself and winked.

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Oh, hey, found something.”

“What is it, Hunk?” Shiro asked, dropping his stupid book and rotating the camera on its tripod to face the boy.

“It’s a box full of old photo albums and weird tapes,” he said, pulling a dusty album out. “Let’s see...‘Acxa and Ezor with little Narti - 1986’.”

On the front page was a photo of two little girls, aged about seven and nine, with a small baby cradled between them. One had hair down to her waist, braided tight against her skull. The other had two braids on one side and a slight fringe on the other. The baby’s face wasn’t visible.

“Odd…”

“What?”

“Well, those hairstyles weren’t exactly the trend back then,” Matt explained, Allura nodding beside him.

“They were very big on top back then, crimping was very chic and so were mullets.”

“Maybe they really are Keith’s people,” Pidge joked, earning a round of laughs from the others.

The album continued in this kind of vein, showing the two girls at birthdays, playing in the garden, around the house. The third, though...although she was in as many pictures as the other two, her face was never visible. Around halfway through the album, a cat appeared in many of the photos with the third girl.

“Well, that’s Acxa and Ezor and Narti, alright,” Allura said, stroking a finger over the latter. “It is certainly creepy that my imaginary friend as a child appears to be real.”

“This whole fucking thing is creepy, Allura.”

“Wow, Matt. You should put that on a t-shirt.”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Hello, mes amigos,” cried an oddly accented voice from the foyer. Someone grabbed the camera and ran into the living room, where Keith and Lance were greeting a ginger-haired man, who had a rather fabulous moustache.

“Coran!”

A collision of sea-foam white and orange occurred as Allura cannon-balled into Coran’s stomach.

“Don’t you ever, _ever_ do that again, do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Princess,” Coran said, wincing exaggeratedly at them over the top of Allura’s shoulder.

Matt, Pidge and Hunk walked in then, letting out cheers and running to drag Allura and Coran into a group hug.

“Our hero!”

“Maybe we’ll live through this after all!”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a delight to be around?”

 

_-NIGHT 19-_

 

**00:05:59**

_“Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are,_

_Up above the world so bright,_

_Like a diamond in the sky,_

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are.”_

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

Stop.

A hissing noise, a pungent smell.

The strike of a match, harsh against the silence of the house. It sounds louder than a nuclear explosion, especially to Keith lying awake upstairs in his room.

Clutching close to Lance, one hand tied securely around the headboard, the other clenching his knife firmly.

Smoke.

This time, it is a siren that bursts the eardrums of the sleeping residents, not Keith. Lance is up within milliseconds, darting downstairs and smothering the flaming oven with a fire blanket.

“Babe, get me some water,” he said, strained as he patted down the flames that kept threatening to break out. Keith nodded wordlessly, filling a pan and throwing it over the top of the oven. Lance breathed a sigh of relief and turned off the gas.

The smell of smoke still hung in the air, tainting the entire house with the knowledge that anyone could die, anyone at any time.

 

**00:56:29**

“We can’t ask any of you to stay with us anymore,” Keith said, hand clasped in Lance’s. “It’s dangerous for you-”

“I am _not_ leaving,” Pidge interjected, glaring at Keith. “I don’t care what might happen to me, you are important to us!”

“I will stay too, Keith,” Shiro murmured, shooting Keith a disapproving look. “I can’t believe you’d even ask me to.”  
“It’s kind of a given.”

Everyone nodded their agreement. Matt stood off to one side, staring forlornly at Pidge.

“Pidg-”

“No, Matt.”

“But-”

“I said, _no Matt!”_

Matt hung his head and took a few deep, calming breaths before looking up at Keith and Lance once more.

“I’ll stay.”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“I dunno, Coran,” Lance said doubtfully, rolling his shirtsleeves up. “This place always gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Which is why it is totally fitting to go in there! We are young, white males in a horror story, after all!”

“Excuse me? What part of Keith dangling from the ceiling by his hair is a story to you?” Lance demanded, glaring at the man.

“Ah, my mistake,” Coran apologised, turning the camera around to wink at it. “I meant horror situation, of course.”

Lance squinted at him suspiciously but turned the key in the garage anyway.

The door swung open to reveal a veritable maze of junk belonging to Lance, to Keith to both of them and, at the back, several shelves full of crap left behind by previous owners. Lance marched straight past boxes of Christmas decorations, Halloween costumes, revision and textbooks, stopping at some old, dust-covered boxes that had only been touched once in the past thirty years.

“Well, now! Allons y, as the French say!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“I got another camera!” Hunk cheered, turning the handheld camcorder around to face him. “I figure if we gotta film everything, we should have a camera for each group and since Coran and Lance nicked the big one, I got this one!”

“Say hi, guys!”

The gathered team smiled and waved before getting straight back to work. They were seated around the large table in the office, which was now covered in notes, maps, charts, photos; Keith had dragged in some of his old conspiracy boards to draw up flow charts and it was looking a little crazy in there.

“So, we are working on finding out what happened to Lawrence Daibazaal,” Hunk said, focussing on the photo of him. “After _a lot of_ digging, it turns out his name was actually Lotor, which can easily be traced back to Honerva, who called her son Lotor when he was still in her uterus.”

“Honerva gives birth to Lotor, they both disappear,” Shiro summarised, turning to the camera again. “Lotor shows up in the early twentieth century, takes part in world wars and disappears again, no sign of Honerva.”

“Well, actually, Honerva is much easier to track,” Pidge piped up, spinning her chair around as fast as she could. “See, she was the consort to a drug lord type fella, who got arrested for something and she flaked out on him. So she had to keep running, to keep away from this guy, who’s called ‘Z’ in her letters.”

“Then they form this coven,” Keith picked up, flashing a picture of a group of women in long, shapeless brown robes. “Call themselves the Druidesses. They worship this demon who they call Zarkon.”

“This is way too complicated.”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Hey, Coran?”

“Yes?”

“Did you ever know a girl called Zethrid?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Well, what if ‘Z’ and ‘Zarkon’ aren’t the same?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Zethrid wasn’t a girl, but I am familiar with the name.”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Wait, there’s something here...mentioning a ‘Haggar’?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“So, Zethrid got Honerva preggers, got arrested, chased after his wife and...what?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Haggar refers to the leader of the coven, so…”

“Honerva?”

 

_-cut screen-_

 

“Fucking time travel? Are you fucking joking man?”

 

_-NIGHT 22-_

 

**04:18:29**

Quiet.

Quiet was bad. Quiet wasn’t silence, which meant there was noise-

Noise coming from somewhere, something that was moving just enough to disturb the air, send a little tingle up someone’s spine-

A muted shuffle, perhaps, or was it a footprint? A finger trailing along a bannister, something soft landing gently on a carpeted floor-

Just loud enough to awaken a slight tremor of the eyelids, a faint crease between the brows and, if perhaps one decibel louder, enough to force those eyelids to open-

Blink blindly against the oppressing darkness, not sure if there’s something in the room with you or not, not sure if it’s your imagination or whether something’s actually breathing along your collarbone or if it’s your boyfriend-

Not sure if a fingernail traced your cheekbone or if it was just a phantom itch, not sure-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Ice cold hands, tight around ankles, dragging again-

Pulling and his wrist, tied, restrained around the headboard-

A snap of fabric, a scream but something is stopping him waking up because he dreams on despite your pleads for help-

The knife, ripped from your hand and thrown at the wall to be buried, hilt-deep in concrete-

Carpet, burning your bare knees and elbows and your hair, conveniently in a ponytail, dragged to the edge of the walkway and tied this time, tied by your hair to a railing and left to dangle, legs flailing midair-

Time to escape? Death by fall or by invisible monster, no contest-

Scrabbling for your hair but a matted mess, fingers still too sore to untangle properly-

Penknife in sock, hands grappling for knife and hacking, sawing away at the locks of hair, tears streaming down your face; no choice but to look downwards-

A fellow scream, not from your throat, no-

White hair, sea-foam hair, dragged to the edge like you, dangled opposite, her kicking and fighting against the invisible, unbeatable force-

“Allura!”

“ _Keith!”_ she screamed, eyes wide and burning in your direction, and you throw your knife, you throw it straight and true and-

An inhuman shriek, piercing and pained, black goo dripping from where your blade is impaled in thin air, moving on its own-

Shoulder or chest, you don’t know, but it has stuck and it has dropped Allura-

A rush of freezing cold air, cold to set your teeth on edge and cold sweat appears on your forehead and Allura-

Is alright, she’s safe and you’re safe and Lance-

Lance is here and he’s cutting you loose from your binding, your hair falling to the ground but separate from your body and-

 

_-cut scene-_

 

“Alright, the camera’s ready,” Shiro said, stepping away from the book tower on top of which rested the camera.

“Great,” Lance said, sitting down beside Keith. “Now, recap for me.”

“Honerva and Zethrid do the do.”

“Lotor is born.”

“Everyone goes missing, Zethrid no longer important so far as we know.”

“Ezor, Acxa and Narti born, do a load of creepy shit as kids-”

“Wait, what?” Lance interrupted the brainstorm, staring at Pidge. “What creepy shit do they do, I missed this.”

“Killing animals, birds, mainly, performing what look like blood rituals, the whole Addams family thing in the garage, to name but a few.”

Lance shuddered, but gestured for them to continue.

“The coven abducts the kids, trains them as acolytes to this demon, Zarkon - who we’re not sure if he’s real or not-”

“You want a bet?” Keith and Allura said darkly from their corner.

“From these tapes I found,” Hunk said, moving quickly on. “Lotor and Haggar get back together to train these kids, Narti, Acxa and Ezor. They do a lot of really creepy shit, like braiding-”

“Braiding, really, Hunk?”

“Come on, three little girls in a circle braiding each other’s hair singing ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ while a bunch of ancient druidesses watch over them? You would be crapping yourself, dude.” Lance shrugged, because he knew Hunk was probably right.

“But then they start describing what they call the ‘Appeaser’, which apparently consists of the blood of two people in order to give Zarkon back his body.”

“Three guesses who,” Keith and Allura monotoned.

“Okay, and we call Narti creepy,” Matt muttered under his breath. “I thought I was supposed to be the pessimistic one.”

“Do you want me to dangle you from your hair from the balcony, Matt?”

Matt held his hands up in surrender and Lance quickly moved in, his hands falling to Keith’s shoulders and rubbing gently.

“Come on, Keith, we’re just helping,” he reprimanded and Keith nodded, swallowing thickly. There was a collective silence as everyone absorbed what they learned.

“So Narti’s a spy, right? She acts as the, uh, appeaser’s imaginary friend, relays information to the coven?”

“Sounds about right,” Allura said softly.

“And Acxa?”

“From the tapes, I think she’s in training to replace Haggar,” Hunk said. “Apparently being over a hundred takes it out of you.”

“Ezor?”

There was a hesitation as Hunk glanced nervously at Keith and Allura, who looked back at him, steady as a rock.

“Okay, um, okay, so...Zarkon is supposedly in a coma, thanks to the Lions, right? And the whole ritual with the appeaser is to get him back on his feet, but...if that thing attacking you guys was Zarkon, they wouldn’t need the ritual…”

“You think that’s Ezor?”

“Man, puberty did not treat her well.”

“Matt, for Christ’s sake.”

“No, no, I think it’s Ezor harnessing Zarkon’s power, temporarily, which is why it fled when Keith stabbed it. No way a demon would flee over something like that, especially an unenchanted one.”

“Great. A psychopathic pre-teen wants to kill us all.”

 

_-cut screen-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Coran is a BAMF in this story too...


	4. Lance badmouths the demon

“Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you take all the knives from the knife block again?”

“No?”

“I really was hoping you weren’t gonna say that…”

Keith turned the corner to see Lance holding an empty knife block. The rack on the wall was bare of knives and even all the butter knives were missing.

“Resident Evil nicked our knives, huh! Well, fuck you, demon! Fuck you! All I wanted were some goddamn fucking garlic knots but without a fucking knife, I can’t cut the motherfucking garlic you cock-smoking shithead!”

“Lance...are you drunk?”

Lance turned to glare at him, eyes slightly bloodshot and movements erratic.

“We have a demon in our house, Keithy,” he said. “We have a demon. In our house. How fucking wild is that? It wants to kill us and eat us all in a nice steamy pie, huh? Steal our knives, stop us eating, that your play? Jokes on you, asshole, if we don’t eat we’ll be skinny as fuck when you decide to eat us so suck my cock and lick my shit, you dickhead!”

Keith sighed and moved to put the camera down on the counter.

“Keithy, shh,” Lance whispered, sloppily pressing a finger against his lips and dropping the knife block.

“What is it?”

Come on, come on,” he beckoned, stumbling across the room towards the office.

The doors were slightly ajar, everyone else was hanging around in the lounge room so there was no one in there. Keith glanced towards the camera, but decided that Lance would want him to be a good boyfriend, so he left it where it was.

“Three...two...one,” Lance mouthed and he flung the doors open, jumping into the room and screaming: “HEY THERE DEMONS, IT’S YA BOI!”

“Oh my god,” wheezed Keith, clutching the door frame for support, as laughter from the other room burst out among the others.

“Please tell me the camera caught that!”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Tell us what you’re doing, Coran.”

“At present, I am daubing the stone flooring with an ancient sanskrit symbol used to trap demons and other restless spirits, young Paladin!”

“Hey, Coran?”

“Yes dear boy?”

“What...why do you keep calling us that? Paladin?”

Hunk trained the camera on the mustachioed man, who grinned up at the lens beguilingly.

“They were the most feared warriors in Charlemagne’s court! Originally, of course, there were twelve of them, but as time would have it, we shall only have eight, but no matter! I believe that together we can quash this, as Lance says, resident evil!”

Hunk grinned at the camera and shot a finger gun at it.

“Well, there you have it, demons,” he said, putting on an affected accent. “You heard it from here first; the eight Paladins of Charlemagne’s court will slice you down with one swoop of our might sword!”

“Excellently put, Hunk!”

 

_ -NIGHT 25- _

 

**05:30:00**

“Lance?”

Bed empty, cold, someone missing-

“Lance, where are you?”

No warm arms around middle, no warm hands on shoulders, where is he?-

No choice, have to find him, sheets gone, shivering in cold, uncovered-

ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE-

He has short hair-

Short hair, short hair-

Short, short, short, short, short, short-

Can’t be used to tie up, can’t support someone hanging, but sheets are strong, sheets can hold up someone-

Eyes wide, heart pounding, where is he?-

“Lance!”

Leave master room, it’s what it wants, what it wants, what it wants  _ but _ -

It has  _ him _ .

 

Keith sprinted out of the bedroom and over to balcony.

“LANCE!” he screamed, eyes fixated on the image before him.

A figure, wrapped in the sheet, something tied around his neck, dangling from the ceiling in a macabre imitation of a suicide had it not been for the fact that he was twenty feet high in the air and there was nothing the sheet was hooked on.

Keith looked desperately around, the blinking red light of the camera soothing him, bizarrely before his eyes caught on the chandelier.

Only two feet away from Lance.

“Okay, okay, okay,” he said, hoisting himself onto the banister. “You crazy son of a bitch, jump!”

His hand wrapped around the chain and he pulled himself onto the wrought iron of the chandelier. Up close it really was ugly.

“We are getting rid of this when this is finished,” he spoke to himself as he made his way around the chandelier, reaching out an arm to grab the sheet.

As soon as he touched it, whatever had been keeping Lance up stopped.

A moment of dread and then Keith had to watch as the body, his boyfriend, as  _ Lance _ plummeted to the ground.

“NO!”

He couldn’t catch him, not like Lance had done for him. He was literally on a fucking chandelier for fuck’s sake, watching as the person who meant the most to him fell to a solid stone floor.

The sheet billowed away from his body, and the familiar face emerged, sullied by a long scratch mark down his jawline and the blood seeping from a wound on his forehead.

Keith was screaming, but he couldn’t hear it anymore. Wind was howling in his ears and then suddenly-

He was on the ground, watching Lance fall towards him and he lifted his arms almost subconsciously to catch the body of his boyfriend.

“Keith?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re okay, you’re alive, holy shit, fuck,” Keith was saying, stroking a shaky hand over Lance’s clammy face and bloodstained hair.

“What the fuck...happened…”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“So, Ezor went after Lance this time?”

“How the fuck are you guys sleeping through all this?” Lance grumbled, pressing a clean pad against the wound on his head. “We’re not exactly quiet.”

Pidge trained the camera on Keith, who was slapping Lance’s hand away to press his own bandage against the cut.

“I have a theory about that,” she offered, dumping the camera down to point at the general group. “I think the entity releases some sort of electromagnetic frequency that causes us all to lose full consciousness for a period of time. You know spoof ghost hunters are always talking about EMF? They might actually be on to something.”

She pulled up an oscilloscope programme and ran last night’s recording through it.

“See? This major line, that’s all the screaming and stuff,” she said, feeling slightly sick but trying to act blasé about it. “But this one, this really thin one...it’s at just the right frequency to shut down the production of orexin which is one of the things that stimulates our waking up. Basically, this is forcing us to stay asleep.”

“So  _ that’s _ why the neighbours haven’t called the police yet.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“We’re getting pretty close to judgement day,” Shiro said to the camera, running a hand through his hair. “It’s pretty much a month now, since I arrived, and a lot of sh- stuff’s been happening.”

He laughed hollowly.

“Honestly, if I hadn’t been seeing it, I definitely wouldn’t have believed it.”

For a little while, he just allowed the camera to run while he did some more research, brow furrowing every once in a while.

“I’m trying to figure out a way to kill Zarkon,” he said, frowning at the table. “I don’t want this to happen to another family. Even if the Daibazaals were clearly a generationally immoral family that somehow managed to stay racist pricks throughout the years of change they were subjected to, the parents of those kids? They didn’t deserve to die.”

Hunk stuck his head into the frame. 

“Hey, Shiro, hey camera,” he greeted. “What we doing?”

“Just going through the plan.”

“Ooh, the plan,” Hunk said, eyes lighting up. “That plan is awesome. We’re gonna lure the demon into this demon trap that Coran has made in the lounge. It’s super strong because apparently things like this have happened before and it all went horribly wrong at the end, like the husband died and the uncle died and the kid went in this hole in the wall and went back in time, it was a whole load of shit for them, really, but this is all from his friend Slav, who’s been to different dimensions and oh my god, I ramble when I’m nervous-”

“Come on, buddy, calm down,” Shiro said, a small smile on his face. Hunk mock-glared at him, but gestured for Shiro to finish the explanation.

“We’re going to trap Ezor and then perform an exorcism that will ‘wash her of her powers’ according to Coran. Matt and I will be guarding him, since he is the only one who knows the exorcism, while Keith and Allura will be within another protective rune, this one preventing demons getting in. Of course, we’ll all be within protection, but we just need to ensure the safety of Keith and Allura above the others.”

The two exchanged looks for a brief second.

“This will draw Acxa and Haggar out of hiding, along with Narti. They’ll join us, but because they’re human, we think we’ll be able to take them. Haggar is not able to wield magic by herself and if we remove the demon beforehand, then…”

“Or at least, that’s what we hope.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Ayy, people! This is the last night before Armageddon and holy me, I have not held this in a long time,” Lance said to the camera, spinning around and blurring the lights into one. “We are having a little party, just a little gathering of the Paladins, which is what we’re calling ourselves now.”

He panned around more slowly, showing the colourful lights clearly and catching Allura and Matt dancing on the table while rapping Nicki Minaj in all their glory.

“As a ‘last night on earth’ party, it’s not too shabby, huh?” he whispered conspiratorially to the microphone. “Now, I’m gonna make a few rounds, do an interview, catch some last words before the wolves come. Let’s do this.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Hey Hunkahunka, how’s it hanging?”

“Hey man, it’s pretty good at the moment,” Hunk replied, a familiar grin lightening his face. “There’s been no weird shenanigans, Shay called earlier, it’s all good in the hood.”

“Ooh,  _ Shay _ called did she?”

“Yeah, called me daddy.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Shiro, the man of the hour.”

“Nah, I hear that’s Coran.”

“Ah, yes, you could be on to something there.”

They nodded seriously.

“Of course, Slav also sounds like an absolute treat-”

“DON’T FUCKING GO THERE.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Allura, prettiest girl this side of the universe, anything you’d like to say, an anecdote, little story, words of wisdom?”

“Ooh! Girls; remember that no matter what you look like or where you come from, you still have a vagina and that really fucking sucks. Boys: don’t be a prick, wrap your dick.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Matthew Holt.”

“Lance McClain.”

“That’s not my full name, bro.”

“Wait, it’s not?”

“No. My name is-”

“INIGO MONTOYA, YOU KILLED MY FATHER, PREPARE TO DIE!”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Pidgey, Pidgey, Pidgey, Pidgey,  _ ooooooooooooh _ , do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya-”

“I fucking hate that song.”

“ _ Le gasp! _ Heresy! Treason within the House of Honour! Dispose of this garbage at once good sir!”

“I will drop-kick your nutsack into the next century.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Hello Lance.”

“My, my, my, Coran! You shaved!”

“Indeed.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Me neither.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Keithy.”

“Lance.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too.”

 

_ -NIGHT 30- _

 

**01:00:00**

Silence-

 

**02:00:00**

Silence-

 

**03:00:00**

Silence-

 

**04:00:00**

Silence-

 

**05:00:00**

Silence-

 

**06:00:00**

Silence-

 

**07:00:00**

Silence-

 

**08:00:00**

An alarm-

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“There was absolutely nothing last night.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“We can’t turn back now. All the stuff is ready, and that flower needed to be picked at midnight on that orange moon thing, I don’t fucking know, man.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“What the fuck am I doing? Like, just draw a cross with the goat blood here?”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“I feel like a child playing dress up but with an animal carcass and faeces.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“It is currently five in the afternoon,” Keith said to the camera. “Lance tried to convince me that I had to dress up in this weird ancient bridal gown for the ritual and goddammit, he almost did too.”

“In retaliation, he drew a dick on my face,” Lance said from offscreen. Keith burst into laughter and collapsed over the counter in giggles.

“Dude, it wasn’t that funny.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Final fifteen minutes until Operation Montoya is underway-”

“We agreed on Operation Fuck Zarkon Up!”

“But Montoya is so much more subtle and means basically the same thing!”

“Please, you just wanted your basic Princess Bride reference in there, you slut!”

 

_ -cut screen- _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try and guess who said what in the dialogue - I do have the characters but I guess it could be anyone ;)
> 
> Man, I had so much fun writing this


	5. Armageddon

“Alright, alright, we’re ready!”

“Are the cameras rolling?”

“Fucking hell, this isn’t a fucking sitcom!”

“If we’re gonna get killed by demons, I want someone to see my end moments, okay, is that too much to ask for?”

“Just shut up!”

The group fell silent. 

Lance panned the camera around the room to take in the changes. The walls had been covered in sheets, and the sofas had been pushed to the far corners of the room. Glue had been layered in concentric rings away from the summoning circle, over which copious amounts of salt had been spread. On the ground, slightly more creepily, were intricately drawn runes and symbols, painted with a slick red substance that Lance knew from experience was goat blood.

Coran had said it was unnecessary, but everyone had agreed that they’d rather live than the goat. Luckily no vegans were around to hear the goat’s loud and disturbing death.

Near the back wall, far enough away from the summoning circle to be safe but also close enough to see, were Keith and Allura, standing in a similar pentagram, only with different runes. Lance, Hunk, Matt, Shiro, Coran and Pidge stood outside the final layer of the trap, Shiro and Matt flanking Coran, Pidge between the circle and Keith and Allura and Lance and Hunk somewhere between.

“Are we ready?”

“Do it.”

“No, wait, let me put the camera down!” Lance yelped, jogging over to the tripod positioned in one corner and placing the camera on top of it, waiting for the audible click.

“We good?”

“Yeah, yeah, go on then.”

“ _ Zarkon, demones inferni, meum et vocavi te in conspectu me. Auribus percipite verba mea. Adiuro vos hoc sacrificium, coram me!” _

A howling wind whipped the sheets back and forth, creating a maelstrom of sound. They ignored their hair tugging their head in every direction and stared straight ahead, where a shadow appeared to be forming.

It was enormous, reaching almost the height of the ceiling. Lance craned his neck upwards to see its face and then wished he hadn’t. There, in the centre of this gradually solidifying shadow, was a small figure, hovering right where the head would form. They had long, waist-length hair and Lance was sure he saw sharp white teeth bared in a smile before a gelatinous black substance started pouring out of the ground beneath the shadow’s feet.

A sound, somewhere between a deafening roar and a high pitched scream came from the monster and it charged towards them, only to be stopped by the trap. 

“This seems all too easy,” Lance muttered to himself, unable to hear himself over the gale that buffeted them around as though they were dolls.

And, true to his instinct, an enormous force blew through the house, and the chimney cracked down the middle, threatening to cave the house in. He gaped at the destruction, practically able to hear his abuela screaming in his head as he followed the crack up to the ceiling.

Before his eyes got there, however, the grotesque face of the monster, the same size as his entire body, appeared in front of him. The visage was a faint grey image of a screaming skull, the features exaggerated beyond belief but still enough to strike terror into his heart. Behind the dead, empty eyes was only a swirling mass of black ectoplasm but further on…

A pair of piercing turquoise eyes stared at him, widened unnaturally, a grin stretching the little girl’s face painfully.

“ _ Yippee ki yay, motherfucker.” _

The demon roared in his face, the decibel level so high it ruptured his eardrums. A thin trail of blood ran down the side of his face as he was blown backwards, back hitting the wall with a sickening crunch.

“LANCE!”

Out of the corner of his blurry vision, Keith was looking at him with horror, before his eyes lit up and he was throwing something at him. A knife? He frowned down at it while he tried to regain his bearings.

He turned to Keith who was gesturing at the sprinkler system. A light bulb flashed in his mind just as he heard the now familiar sound of a person being thrown against the wall. Thank god he had the foresight to block the hearth up before, otherwise Matt would be feeling a little warmer than perhaps comfortable.

He heaved himself to his feet, studiously ignoring the ringing in his eyes, the black spots at the corner of his vision and the pain shooting down his mid-left back and heaved himself up the stairs, fighting against the hurricane that was brewing inside his late-abuela’s house and anchored himself on one of the pillars.

Normally, he was as good at throwing knives as Keith, but his faith in his abilities was shaken due to his current inability to breathe. But from this close? It was definitely possible. And besides, he couldn’t walk any further. The wind had pinned him against the pillar, it was a miracle his arm was still free to move.

Coran was still chanting below, Matt struggling to escape the gale while Shiro had been crushed beneath it. The trap was still holding strong however and thank god they had coated the blood in a waterproof layer because otherwise this would be a shitshow.

He took a deep breath, drew back his arm and flung the knife as hard as possible at the emergency fire alarm.

It started ringing immediately before being shut down by the demon, but they had anticipated that. It wouldn’t want any warning getting out to the public. 

Lance hadn’t wanted to warn anyone.

The sprinkler system turned on, dousing the demon with holy water, blessed by Coran himself.

As he watched, the demon shrunk to about half its original size and its power decreased as well until Lance detached himself from the pillar with relief.

He got back down to the ground floor, limping heavily, and gulped at the still massive size of the monster. It was at least ten feet tall, long, strong vines of black winding up and down its body in a never-ending dance. It glared at him, lurching forward, a demonic, clawed hand trying to grab his head, but stopped by the three-fold protection circles and runes.

“Well done, Lance,” Shiro said, helping Matt to his feet. Lance grinned and saluted before whirling around to check on Pidge, Keith and Allura. They all looked rather pale, but were otherwise fine aside from a nasty gash on Pidge’s cheek from some sort of flying rubble.

“ _ Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis con potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te!” _

The exorcism was powerful, but against a demon this old and strong, it would need multiple repetitions and Lance wasn’t sure they had that long. He muttered a quick prayer and blew a kiss to Keith before leaping at the demon and entering the demon’s trap.

Oh he did  _ not _ think this through. 

His hearing was shot anyway, but he was positive that sound traveled weirdly in the trap. Keith was definitely yelling at him, but it was as though it were coming through a filter or underwater.

Yes,  _ that _ was the most important thing to think about.

The demon had bent down to look at him and was clearly laughing, which was a chilling thought. It bared its nonexistent teeth and Lance threw all caution to the wind-

And decked the motherfucker in the face.

It screeched and flew backwards and wow, this demon was either really weak or it wanted to do that because there was no way Lance was that strong.

“Hell yeah, bitch,” he growled, feeling his terror morph into adrenaline and before he could really comprehend what was happening, he was partaking in an old-fashioned wrestling match, complete with every dirty trick in the book and somehow, he wasn’t dying!

Maybe the trap bestowed powers on those who weren’t demons, but either way he was totally into this power-up. 

“LANCE! PUNCH THE KID!”

Well, that was not something you heard every day.

The child’s face was clearly visible now, eyes that were once manic with laughter now panicky and crazed. Lance drew back a fist, threw it forwards and winced as it hit flesh and bone instead of the strange pillowy texture of the demon, which could absorb his punches despite it not doing much for it.

Coran was clearly losing his voice, but the demon was already dissipating and sinking through the floor in a red-orange glow. Once all the black ectoplasm was gone, Coran gave the all clear and everyone ran towards Lance, who was lying on his back in the trap, panting heavily.

“You fucking idiot!” Keith shouted, shaking Lance’s shoulders. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Lance swallowed and coughed harshly into his elbow.

“I was thinking...that Coran needed more time and the only way to do that was...to draw away its fire,” he replied, voice hoarse for some reason.

Beside him, the girl was stirring.

“Ezor?”

Big, blue eyes peered up at them, but they were hardened to pretty eyes by this point and didn’t avert their assorted kitchen knives and garden utensils from her.

“He...Is...Coming…” she spoke quietly but her voice seemed to carry a long way. “He comes for the Chosen...the Gifted and the Blood...He...Is...Coming…”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“We’re having a little regroup before round two,” Hunk said to the camera, panning over Pidge, Lance and Matt who were all getting patched up.

“Ezor said something about the Chosen, which I think is another name for the Appeaser. Which makes sense, because they are  _ chosen _ to be the  _ appeaser _ . It’s the other bit that’s getting me, the, the Gifted and the Blood. What’s that referring to?”

Keith moved into frame and sat down next to Hunk, a frown on his face.

“Keith? You alright, buddy?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just...when she was talking about the Chosen...well, that’s clearly me and Allura, since we are the Appeaser.”

Hunk hummed along, nodding.

“I think I’m the Gifted.”

“Wow. Very modest of you, Keith.”

“No! It’s not that! A couple of nights ago, while we were preparing for the summoning and not checking the cameras as much, I woke up and Lance was missing, right? Like, he was hanging in the sheet from the ceiling, around his neck, yeah?”

“Yeah, you told us…”

“Well, what I didn’t tell you was that I got onto the chandelier to reach him, yeah? And as soon as I touched the sheet, he dropped. He should have died, should be dead right now. Or crippled at least. There was no way I would’ve got down in time, I was literally sitting on a fucking chandelier! But the next thing I know, I’m standing on the ground and I catch Lance.”

“Woah, dude. You teleported?”

“I think so? I don’t know, I just thought it was some trick of my imagination, like maybe I never got on the chandelier or the catch didn’t happen, I just pushed it out of my mind! But I think I’m the Gifted!”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Huddle up, huddle up!”

“This is not a high school basketball team, Shiro.”

“Sixteen, sixteen, sixteen minutes left gotta get it done-”

“Matt, settle.”

“Sir, yes sir!”

“Alright, so the motion detectors outside have sensed a lot of movement in the past ten minutes. Odds are, these are our druidesses. Once they’re inside, we’ll have our hands full. Just remember, focus on Acxa and Haggar, the others will disband as soon as the hierarchy is abolished.”

There were a series of nods around the circle.

Shiro made eye contact with everyone then smiled.

“We can do this, okay? After tonight, this will be over for everyone, not just us. No more demons and no more killings.”

Keith nodded vigorously, feeling Lance’s arm around his shoulders, a comforting weight.

“Let’s get this done.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“A half hour has passed since the huddle,” Hunk said. “No sign so far from the witches. We’re all in position, though the protective circles don’t mean a lot anymore.”

He laughed nervously.

“Shay, if you ever see this, I want you to know...I love you and I’m gonna propose when I get home.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

When the witches finally deigned to join the party, Keith was almost nodding off. However, the door flew open loud enough to wake the dead, and Keith, in reflex, slashed his knife through the throat of a druid before she even got through the door.

He stared down at her lifeless body for a second before glancing back at the others with wide eyes.

“Was that it-” Lance started to ask, only to be clipped by a bolt of lightning shot by a druid right behind him. “Oh, you little shit.”

Keith knew he didn’t have to look out for Lance; he’d proved himself capable time after time and was probably better at taking care of himself than Keith was, but that didn’t mean Keith wasn’t going to watch his back.

He stabbed one witch through the back as it was about to electrocute Shiro and another got its tongue cut out almost by accident when he whirled around to avoid a shot from one up on the top balcony.

And Lance mocked him for having so many knives.

The two of them wound up in the centre of the room, slashing out at any bitch that got too close. Lance was sweating, but then again so was he. Also, he had expected the whole killing a human being (although, ancient, evil, magical human beings) thing to be harder, but maybe the shock would just wear in later. The blood definitely, was disturbing. He hadn’t expected it to be so warm and the coppery taste was less pleasant when it came from someone else’s body.

“Wish I had a fucking...gun…” 

Their eyes locked. Lance was lethal with a ranged weapon and as it happened...there was a gleaming new rifle in the office.

“I’ll distract them,” Keith panted. “You go!” Lance was going to protest, Keith could see it, but he wasn’t really very good with knives. Guns however...he’d been going to the range since he was nine and went clay pigeon shooting religiously.

Having Lance behind a trigger was almost giving them an unfair advantage.

Keith certainly felt the increased attacks once Lance left. He’d duck to avoid one witch only to have to swerve upwards to avoid another and slowly he was getting bogged down. A bony hand grasped his right wrist and snapped it in half like it was a carrot. Another skeletal limb reached out to tighten around his neck and suddenly he was being lifted into the air.

The witch’s thumbs were digging into the sensitive muscles beneath his ears. His trachea was slowly being crushed into his spinal column, oxygen unable to enter his lungs.

“Help,” he tried to call, but had no breath to do so. Black spots around his vision didn’t help either, since that meant he was almost out of commission, unable to be of any use.

A loud bang and suddenly the hand went lax, dragging down his chest as he sucked in large mouthfuls of oxygen. Lance stood over him, picking off the witches one by one. Keith accepted his hand up and massaged his throat gently.

“Thank you,” Keith said, grasping Lance’s hand and kissing it.

“You’re welcome, samurai-”

Lance stopped mid-sentence, smile frozen across his face. He stared at Keith, eyes wide as the smile gradually slipped off.

“L-Lance?”

A cough. Blood dribbled out of his mouth and Keith glanced over Lance’s shoulder to see a knife buried in his back.

“What? No. No, please, no.”

He lowered Lance to the ground, trying not to disturb the knife. Lance whimpered and coughed again, this time raising a hand to wipe across his mouth, smearing the blood over it.

“K...K-Keith,” Lance said, voice hoarse. “L-love you. I...I r-really  _ re-eally  _ love you.”

“I love you too,” Keith said, hunched over Lance’s body.

“M-my top p-pocket…”

Keith fumbled inside it and pulled out a ring box. Lance smiled and closed his eyes, humming lightly under his breath as Keith opened the box. Inside was a plain silver ring.

“M-marry me?”

“Worst fucking timing you prick, but yes of course,” Keith said, wiping a trickle of blood away and ignoring the burning behind his eyes.

“Kick some ass in my name, babe,” Lance said, before his eyes slid shut and he fell into the realms of unconsciousness.

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

The Keith that returned to the battlefield with a rifle and a ring was a different Keith to the one before. This Keith fought with a fury he hadn’t felt before, or at least in a long time and found himself where he needed to be when he needed to be there.

“Are you teleporting right now?” Hunk called on his next stop through. Keith nodded without pausing in his execution of one of the witches.

“Where are Haggar and Acxa?” he asked as he took a quick break. 

“Battling Shiro and Allura, last I saw,” Hunk shrugged, gesturing towards the other side of the fireplace where flashes of black-purple lightning and bright blue were lighting up the place.

He rounded the corner to see Allura and an old witch locked in combat...in mid-air. On the ground was Shiro, frozen in position thanks to the small girl watching him without a break in her gaze.

“Acxa,” he growled, making her jump and spin around to face him.

“The Gifted One,” she replied, eyes wide. Unlike Ezor, this one had milky, pupil-less eyes. 

“I am not the  _ Gifted One _ ,” he retorted, throwing the rifle aside and picking up the two thousand dollar katana he’d bought from comic-con three years ago. “I am not some puppet for you to pick up and use when you need me.”

“Zarkon will rise again and when he does-”

“I am getting really fucking sick and tired of hearing about this Zarkon dude,” Keith said, punching her in the face. “He sounds like a fucknugget.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“I can’t believe you proposed right after you got stabbed in the back.”

“Think about that for a second.”

“...actually, no I can totally believe that.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Place your bets now, where will McClain get hit next and who will hit him.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Do you think I should give Zarkon my watch?”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“You do realise there are dead witches all over the house?”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Wait, are we criminals because we committed murder or are we heroes because we’re kinda saving the world?”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Wait, wait, shh…”

The camera pans around to Lance who sat up in bed despite his pale colour.

“Do you hear that?”

A faint whisper in the air, as though something was trying to talk to them. Shiro put the camera down and reached for a notebook instead, pen clicking on as he prepared to take notes.

“The…” Lance murmured. “I’m hearing ‘the’ a lot. And Gifted and Blood, obvs.”

_ The Gifted...and the Bloo...th...Gifte...lood...I shal...ise...bloo...o blood...stole...power ret...ned _

“I shall rise...something about blood and stolen power. Wait...so it needs the blood for the body and the power, the stolen power, for the soul?”

“Keith never knew his dad or mom,” Shiro said, eyes fixed in the distance. “I noticed a resemblance between him an Acxa, but I didn’t want to believe it, not at first…”

“What are you saying, Shiro?”

“I’m saying that Keith is a Daibazaal, Lance,” Shiro said. “Keith’s mother was Acxa’s cousin’s daughter. They’re second cousins or something.”

“Alright, so that explains Keith,” Lance shook off the Daibazaal thing. “What about Allura?”

“Well, it’s well known that the Daibazaal and Meleager lines merged with Honerva and Zethrid,” Shiro said. “Allura has never hidden that she was related to Honerva by blood, it was just unimportant at the time.”

They sat there staring at nothing for a while.

“At least we know why now.”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“Allura…”

“Keith.”

“You know why it’s us, don’t you.”

“Yes.”

“I have my suspicions,” Keith said, sitting beside her in the ruined living room. His shoulders shook with suppressed laughter.

“How our ancestors would laugh at us,” Allura said, shaking her head at the long line of Daibazaal ancestry. “They would be disgusted with our behaviour.”

Keith turned to stare at the living room.

“Speaking of ancestry, Lance’s abuela will murder him when he dies.”

“Now, I shall ensure I’m present for that.”

Keith was finally starting to relax when all the doors slammed shut and rubble barricaded itself against the exit points.

“I suppose it is now, then?” Allura sighed, getting to her feet. Keith shot her a sideways look and grinned.

“You expected it to be us?”

“Did you not?”

Keith shrugged. 

“I was pretty sure Lance would find a way in here as well.”

“There is still time.”

_ Pretty little Allura, so naíve...the world on her platter, everything hand fed to her in a silver spoon, such a precious little Princess… _

_ And Keith, alone and talented Keith...a bad hand never stopped anyone, did it, Keith? No, you fight for what you want and you earn it… _

“Of course he’d like the sound of his own voice.”

_ An attitude on this one, I like that...so refreshing to get a fighter...I need a new body every few years and each time I get a little bit more particular...I fear my acolytes may start to desert me if I continue in such a manner, but you just...tempt me. _

“Sorry, man, I’m taken,” Keith said, finding it difficult to be scared of something he couldn’t see.

The floor made a sharp cracking noise and pieces of stone tiling started falling into a chasm as deep as Tartarus and beyond. So deep, Keith could see stars through the other side. There was something glowing in that hole, a purple hand reaching up and up and up.

It shot itself out of the hole and dug its claws into the floor of the lounge. It dragged itself upwards and Keith and Allura exchanged desperate glances. 

“The fuck are you doing?” he heard someone who sounded suspiciously like Lance say. “His fingers are right there, step on them ya pussy!”

Keith bristled and ran forward, stamping on the monster’s hand, jumping up and down as though it were a trampoline. To his astonishment, the hand started slipping until it fell back into the pit.

_ You think that was all I have to offer? Think again, Keithy. _

“Only Lance gets to call me that,” Keith snapped, drawing his absolute favourite knife. Allura removed her high-heeled shoes and yanked the heels off of them. 

“This dress doesn’t come with fucking pockets, come on.”

_ I’ll tell you what, we’ll play a game! I’ll tell you to do something and you have to do it! Doesn’t that sound fun?” _

“You and I have a very different idea of what the definition of fun is,” Allura growled, crouching low in a fighting stance. The monster merely chuckled, its cold voice echoing in the never-ending pit in the middle of the living room.

With an explosion that put the previous one to shame, a huge creature burst from the crevasse and its enormous head loomed over them, almost taking up the entirety of the room. The rest of its body was in the pit.

Keith tried to look it in the eyes, but its face appeared to be incomprehensible to the human eye. It was a disfigured, swirling mass of black, purple with two spots of glowing yellow that shifted into gruesome shapes.

_ Keith, we could be great together… _ it murmured.  _ You are exactly what I wished my lineage would hold, exactly what I need...I am so proud of you… _

He knew that the demon was being manipulative, but damn if he didn’t wish it were true. All he’d wanted was to belong to a family. Keith hesitated, arm positioned behind him, ready to stab into Zarkon’s skull. Little did he realise that an invisible force was slowly pulling him closer and closer to the gaping maw in the ground.

“KEITH!” Allura roared, throwing the heel of her shoe with pinpoint precision straight into the wide gash that had appeared in Zarkon’s face, presumably a smile. Something vile and bitter sprayed over him and shocked him out of his stupor. He reared back in disgust and stabbed the knife forward into one of the yellow orbs.

The demon let out an inhuman screech and pulled itself closer to them, the glowing purple hand clawing gouges into the stone flooring and destroying the painstakingly painted sigils on the ground.

“That took for-fucking-ever, you cunt,” growled a voice from behind the monster. 

Positioned around the walkway above them, were the others, weapons all pointed threateningly at Zarkon. Coran was already chanting away and Matt slammed his elbow into the fire alarm (again) to set off the sprinklers once more. 

Keith felt a savage grin cross his face and he sprung forward as everyone started attacking with all they had. 

Lance lay down a cover fire, which didn’t actually damage much, what with Zarkon being an immortal demon, but did provide a distraction from Coran. Shiro and Matt used Keith’s prized katana swords to slice at Zarkon’s fingers whenever he attempted to swipe them off of the balcony.

Allura produced a whip from god knows where and managed to restrain an arm by herself, which proved Keith’s theory that she was definitely not someone to cross,  _ ever _ .

Ignoring all the distractions around him, he started sprinting towards the demon, a war cry bubbling up in his chest. At the last minute, just as Zarkon evidently thought he was going to run right into the pit, he jumped and teleported up to the top of Zarkon’s head. He stabbed the knife into his skull and gravity pulled him downwards, ripping the creature’s face open right down the middle.

He landed with a thump on two feet but promptly buckled to his knees as exhaustion caught up to him. The creature before him was thrashing madly, clumps of black, purple and yellow viscous liquid dripping around him, coating his hair and face as he stared up at the sight. With a final, devastating scream, he fell backwards into the pit, hand outstretched and face contorted with pain and rage.

There was a rush of hot air and a powerful vacuum started dragging towards the hole. Keith managed to grab hold of Allura’s leg before he was sucked into the void. The stones all fell back into place and they all fell to the ground in shock.

Panting breaths filled the silence and with a collective groan, everyone lay back and stared at the ceiling.

“Anyone up for trivial pursuit?”

 

_ -cut screen- _

 

“It’s been two weeks since Judgement Day,” Lance spoke to the camera, which was balanced precariously on top of a pile of books. “And this is the last video we will be making that refers to the incident…”

He paused.

“We decided that going public with it was a fairly stupid idea in the end. Either people would believe us and panic or not believe us, neither of which are any good. Besides, Coran said we killed Zarkon, so that should never bother anyone again.”

“Also there’s the fact that we murdered over twenty old women on tape and also would be found beating up an injured child who went missing ages ago...that’d be particularly incriminating evidence.”

He stared at the computer screen in thought, blue eyes darting over the text absently.

“Surprisingly, we’re gonna stay in this house,” he continued. “Course, we got rid of all the corpses and we’re gonna tear the garage down and build a new one, so that’ll be a nice big bonfire to celebrate our success of killing a  _ fucking demon, hell yeah _ .”

“Is it disturbing that I’m calling a funeral pyre for a genocide a bonfire?”

He shook his head and grinned awkwardly at the lens.

“I think we’re all still a bit shaken up about it,” he admitted. “Hunk went back to see Shay and the others all called home to check in since we went all radio silence on everyone, but now we’re all back together again…”

“Keith and I have decided to bury all the tapes, research and other random crap about this where the garage is at the moment. We think it’s the most appropriate thing to do. Who knows, maybe in the future, someone will find it and be like: ‘holy crap, this homemade movie is so realistic! I didn’t know the effects were so advanced back in 2018!’ and I’ll be up in heaven going ‘you little punk, that was completely real’. Assuming I get to heaven, of course…”

“LANCE! DINNER!”

Lance startled at the loud shout and almost knocked the camera over. After swearing a blue streak, he shot another grin at the lens and gave a little salute.

“Well, this is Lance Charles McClain, survivor of the demon Zarkon and proud fiancé to the Gifted Keith Akira Kogane. Signing off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed this fic! Honestly, I binge-watched the entire paranormal activity movies and was like: man, I need this but with Klance. It was really fun to write even though I did kind of spew it out during the course of an afternoon, whoops!
> 
> Also, just to clarify, Lance gets knocked out but doesn't die when one of the witches throws a knife in his back. Unrealistic, yes, but necessary.
> 
> See you next time  
> ~Marshy


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